Sam and His Favorite Boxers

So we're potty training Sam. Let's just say it didn't go well in the beginning. Sam would pee on the potty and then (less than 5 minutes later) pee on himself and the floor, but yet somehow be confused as to the origin of the wetness.

Sam: "Mommy, I all wet!"
Me: "I know honey, you peed on yourself."
Sam: "Mine pants are wet!" (he seems happy and excited about this)
Me: "Yes, because you did pee-pees on them. You are supposed to do them in the potty."
Sam: "I did pee-pee on potty!!"
Me: "Yes, I know you did, Good job. But then you peed AGAIN on the floor."
Sam: "Nah-uhnnh. (squatting down to examine the puddle on the floor) LOOK! It's wet!" (he's very proud of this Magellan-like discovery)
Me: "Yes, it's wet-- You PEED ON THE FLOOR!"
Sam: "It's a puddle! I LIKE this puddle!"

At this point I decide to simply accept the fact that like most grown men, Sam's hoo-hoo must have a mind of it's own that is completely separate from the brain housed in his skull and clearly they don't communicate effectively. Maddie, our dog, has a similar problem--she has a very long tail that clearly isn't under her conscious control as she frequently clears the coffee table with it then looks at me as if to say, "someone knocked all that stuff off the table, you might want to clean that up."

Anyhow--so my nephews bequeathed some hand-me-down clothes to Sam and his favorite article of clothing is a pair of Justice League boxers that are about 3 sizes too big. So he sees them in the pile of laundry on the sofa that my wonderful, helpful, dependent husband has folded but failed to put away (another post, another day) and unbeknownst to me, decides to put them on. So he walks past me and I notice something doesn't look quite right. To begin with, his shorts are on backwards. Secondly, there appears to be some sort of tail hanging out of the back of his shorts. So as I'm pulling off his shorts to turn them around, Sam is announcing that he's found his Superman undies and put them on. So I take off his shorts and discover that he has put both legs through one leg hole of the boxers leaving the other leg hole hanging behind him like a sad little underwear wedding gown train. Plus, when he put his shorts back on, the boxers (which if you picture it--look like a skirt at this point) have ridden up so that his twig and berries are hanging out the bottom. Oh how I wish I could have photographed this to show to his first prom date. . . .