Sam's Field Trip

Sam went on his very first field trip today with his preschool class! We went to Chapel Hills Farm and had a lovely time. . . sort of.
The trouble began when we were getting dressed this morning. Well, let's back up. Sam doesn't wear long pants. Ever. It can be 45 degrees and raining out and he'll still insist on shorts. Generally, I opt out of this battle and he wears shorts. If the child wants to freeze, let him freeze. I have bigger fish to fry so to speak. But since we were going on a hay ride, Dad and I thought it best for Sam to wear long pants. Hay gets kind itchy, you know?? So I thought Sam was fully prepared for this as Dad and I both talked to him about this last night. Nope, still had a fight this morning. He wanted to wear shorts pants and bring long pants with him just in case the hay was itchy. It went round and round until I played bad Mommy and threatened to not take him. I won, Sam wore pants. But he did complain rather exasperatedly how hot he was in his long pants for the entire car ride there.
I did, however, claim a small victory when one of the other Moms who was wearing shorts (apparently she's never been on a hayride) did say how uncomfortable she was, and how much her legs were itching. This little victory was very short lived when Sam announced (in that loud voice only a 3 year old can manage) that "that silly lady shoulda worn long pants 'cause hay is really itchy for people but not for animals 'cause animals like to lay on hay it doesn't itch them 'cause they have fur all over thems bodies and that lady doesn't have fur all over her body so people haft wear long pants on hayrides. . . LADY! LADY! YOU SHOULD WEAR LONG PANTS (at this point I clamped my hand firmly over his little mouth, swung him around and enthusiastically pointed out the pumpkins in the pumpkin patch)


So we had a pretty good time, went on the "haunted" hay ride (Daddy will be very proud that Sam identified the scare crow with the Darth Maul mask by name and movie), we got to pick pumpkins, bought some gourds to add to our Halloween "directions" as Sam calls them, played on the playground, had cookies and apple cider, and petted all the farm animals.

Just a note, here are some things you should hope NEVER to have to say (or hear) while in the presence of farm animals:

"Look, Sam is kissing the baby goat. How cute!"
"Sam. . . Sam. . . SAM!! Stop letting the baby goat lick your mouth!"
"But WHY did you let the goat eat your shirt?"
"Yes, I can see the hole in it."
"Boys and girls, please don't pick the corn up off the ground and eat it. It's only for the animals."
SPLASH! (this one is only trouble if you happen to be looking for bull frogs in the pond at the time)
"Yes, I agree, that MUST be a boy horse. (Ever seen horse genitalia??)
"But WHY did you let the goat eat my bag?"
"Yes, I can SEE the hole in it."
"No, that's probably NOT the same turkey we are going to eat on Thanksgiving."
"Take the hay out of your nose."
"Oh look, the piggie had to go potty."
"No, I don't know why the bunny went into his house."(although it may have had SOMETHING to do with that little boy who poked him with a stick. . .)
(While standing next to the pig pen) "I guess maybe Charlotte is sleeping. . ."
"Can we get a duck??"
"But WHY did you let the goat eat your jacket?"
"Yes, I can see the hole in it."

All in all, a very fun morning, even though it is still 77 degrees in mid-October. . . . .

My Tummy Hurts

We went to Hershey Park this past Saturday. Had a good time. No one absconded from the park with my children this time so that was good. Learned that the children are complete daredevils and will ride any roller coaster that they are tall enough for. With their arms stretched high into the air. Me? I hold on. FOR DEAR LIFE. Sam also enjoys the roller coasters but is only tall enough to ride the trailblazer. Sam also refuses to hold on. His sisters have taught him well.
On the way out I stopped back into Chocolate World and allowed each child to pick out a treat. (Had to talk Emma out of the $19.95 chocolate kiss which is filled with 10 pounds of miniature kisses) Ended up with a one pound Hershey bar for Liz and one pound Hershey kisses for Sam and Emma. Next question: "Can we eat them in the car?" Do I look stupid? But I relented and allowed them to open their treats as we rode home.

I drove. Big mistake. By driving, this automatically eliminated me from monitoring the chocolate consumption in the back of the van. This left Daddy and Mr. Paul in charge of chocolate consumption monitoring. So basically there WAS NO monitoring of the chocolate consumption.

So we're on the road for a good bit of time when I can't remember if it occurred to me to ask, or if it was mentioned that Sam still had his gigantic Hershey kiss, but at any rate--he did. At least, what was left of it. He ate about 7.5 ounces of the 8 ounce chocolate chunk. I'll grant you he was wearing probably .75 ounces, and had dropped another quarter ounce on the floor, but that's still a LARGE amount of chocolate for a 3 year old to consume in one sitting. I'm still waiting for him to poop.

So we get home, clean them up (Liz had fallen asleep clutching her candy bar so it had melted and molded to her palm) and pajamify the kids when suddenly they realize we never ate dinner. (I was so tired I tried to convince them that the chocolate was their dinner but they'd have no part of it) so back out I dragged myself to McDonald's to purchase kids meals which no one ate. Why?? Because they all had stomach aches.

Go figure.

Why You Shouldn't Leave Toddlers Unattended

So much pressure you people put on me! I don't post for a few days and my email inbox is overflowing with complaints--jeez! Give a working woman a break. Oh wait--I don't work-- I forgot. According to Chris, I sit around all day watching TV and eating bon-bons while the children play quietly in another room. Yep. That's EXACTLY how my day goes.
So what to write about. . . hmmmm, how about an oldie but goodie? I apologize to any out there who have heard this one. . .

This was back when Sam was just learning to talk and only said a handful of words, he was around 2 years old I guess and was just as much of a trouble maker as he is now. I had been baking and decorating sugar cookies so there was a large (emphasis on large) tub of colored cake sprinkles on the table--you know the little tiny balls that are all different colors? We always called them bally balls for some reason. I hear the sounds of a thousand little tap tap taps coming from the kitchen followed by a little voice saying "uh-oh". Not a good sign. I investigate and find that Sam has dumped the container out on the table, it has spilled over onto the chair AND all over the kitchen floor. It looked like this:






So I learned a few lessons that day and here they are:

1. A large mixed breed german shepherd dog will only lick up about 6 square inches of randomly scattered cake sprinkles before wandering away bored.
2. A 2-year-old will however, mimic the dog and lick the floor while giggling uncontrollably until he is physically removed from the premises and a gate is placed between him and the area.
3. Cake nonpareils (a.k.a. "bally-balls") when dropped on a vinyl kitchen floor, will continue to bounce around until they have spread out and covered every possible square inch of that floor. They will bounce an average of 32 times before coming to rest under the stove where the vacuum attachment can't reach them.
4. The vibration of the aforementioned vacuum causes previously at rest sprinkles to begin rolling away making it nearly impossible to vacuum them all up.
5. Randomly scattered rainbow sprinkles (while making the kitchen floor look pretty) making a sickening crunching sound when you walk on them.
6. Sam learned to say the word "crunch" that day.
7. When you attempt to mop up remaining renegade sprinkles that have evaded the vacuum, the water activates the dye in said sprinkles causing lovely streaks of rainbow color across the vinyl flooring.
8. Randomly scattered sprinkles are rather effective in causing 2-year-olds to slip and fall. Repeatedly.
9. Ants are VERY attracted to cake bally-balls.
10. It takes about 8 months of cleaning and having ants carry them off before you can't easily spot at least one stray bally ball on the floor after a spill such as this one. (But then again, we haven't moved the bakers rack or the pantry. . . )