You're Gonna Put It Where???

My oldest has (or rather had) tonsils the size of small limes so of course the surgeon said they needed to come out which placed us at the hospital last Wednesday. Liz was a trooper and handled everything with grace and dignity. . . .until we got home.

She threw up about 4 times in the recovery room but since she was still equipped with an IV the nurses gave her anti-nausea meds through that and she was none the wiser.
As we prepared to leave, one of the nurses handed me a little ziplock bag with a prescription label on it explaining, take this with you just in case she gets sick once you get home. Oh, how nice and considerate of them I think to myself, and I thank them as I shove the baggie in my purse without another thought. "Just wear gloves" one of the nurses recommended. Gloves? to give her a pill to swallow?? I was confused, but at the same time another nurse was handing me discharge instructions to sign and a third was taking out her IV and telling Chris to hold pressure on it so the confusion fluttered from my mind and flew away.

Until we got home.

Of course, not 5 minutes after we walk in the door she tosses her cookies in the hall bathroom and is looking a little putrid. Grammy wants to know if they wrote a prescription for her nausea. No I say, they were kind enough to send me home with a pill. So I run to get the little baggie from my purse and as I'm pouring a glass of juice my mother examines the packet and says,"Sweetie, you don't need juice. It's a suppository."

"Just wear gloves" is now making much more sense.

So I approach the miserable looking child and say, "Honey, I have some medicine for you that's going to make your tummy feel better. . . . .but it's a different kind of medicine than you usually take." I sit on the bed and begin to try and explain how this is going to work.

"YOU'RE GONNA PUT IT WHERE ?!!??!!?!!?"

Sam Babble

Children babble. Endlessly. To no one in particular. And as young children babble, they tend to repeat things they've overheard, seen on television, are currently witnessing or have been told by their parents. This is why one should carefully contemplate what they say to a child (or in a child's presence) before saying it.
So we're driving along in the car home from a visit with Grammy (which by the way resulted in a "sleeping" firefly in her kitchen--I'll get to that one another day) and the string of "Sam babble" floats gently up to the front of the minivan. . .

". . . and there was a frog on grammy's porch and he didn't bite me he was nice! and he lives on grammy's porch by her table and her new swing for her birthday and we caught him in a jar but he got away in the grass and Liz got a flashlight but he didn't see us and he came up the steps again! hahahahahahah and Bailey and Jaret are coming to mine house to stay and we're gonna play and that's not ours house and that's not ours house and that's not ours house and that's not ours house and that's not ours house and we can play baseball and swing set and soccerball and football and Daddy says if I like the Steelers he is gonna kick me out of mine house I can't like Steelers hafta like Ravens. . . ."

Now at this point I look over at my husband whom I would like to be able to say immediately assured his preschooler that he was mistaken and that a simple difference in team preference would not find him homeless, but alas, the husband responded with an incredulous "what??!!?, I'm glad the boy finally got it clear!"

Please let my son never come in direct contact with anyone from social services. . . .

I Lost My Tooth

Liz has had her first wiggly tooth for like 6 months, and she's the ONLY one in her ENTIRE class that hasn't lost a tooth yet and her tooth will NEVER fall out and she'll have baby teeth FOREVER...but finally, while eating an apple, it came out. She was very happy about this and immediately called every relative she could think of to share the news. Daddy came home from work and she met him at his car proudly displaying the large empty gap in her bottom jaw and her tooth which had been carefully sealed in a ziplock bag and lovingly placed in a hand sewn tooth fairy pillow.

And then she promptly lost the tooth.

Hand sewn tooth fairy pillow? check. Empty gap in teeth? check. Ziplock bag? check. Tooth? nope.

What follows is a transcript of the conversation that took place with her Grammy that evening.

"Grammy?" (tearfully)

"Yes, Sweetie?"

"I lost my tooth!" (sobbing now)

"I know, honey, you told me. That's wonderful! What do you think the tooth fairy will put under your pillow?"

"No, Grammy, I lost my tooth!"

"I know you did, I can see where it used to be."

"But Grammy, I LOST my tooth!!" (now approaching a wail)

(Grammy getting slightly confused) "OK, are you sad about losing your tooth?"

"Yes, I'M SAD!!! I LOST MY TOOTH!!! (now desolation, frustration and just a hint of anger)

"Alright. So tell me WHY you're sad."

"BECAUSE I LOST MY TOOTH! I lost it! I just lost it and the tooth fairy isn't going to give me any money because I lost my tooth!!"

"Honey, you're not making any sense. . ."

I'm sitting there watching this exchange thinking how simple it would be to remedy it with a slight vocabulary clarification: lost/misplaced. But it was just SO funny. And besides...my mother took my child out of an amusement park without telling me and I looked for them for an hour. So let's just say HER comfort level wasn't exactly top on my list at that moment in time.

So I'm a Slacker. Deal With It.

So apparently I SUCK at blog posting etiquette...My most sincere apologies and a promise that I'll try to do better moving forward.

So SHOCKINGLY none of my children died or suffered major injury while at Hershey Park. Liz chickened out (the 1st time) on the Sooper Dooper Looper, but was shamed into riding it by her younger sister's enthusiastic praise of said death trap. Me? I bowed out gracefully after riding the Comet which my daughters proclaimed "awesome." I asked how something that makes you feel like you want to vomit can be awesome and was immediately informed by said daughters that the vomit feeling is precisely what makes the ride awesome. who knew. Based on that theory, they will both wholeheartedly enjoy being pregnant.

So the entourage to Hershey Park consisted of my family, my sister-in-law and her family, a friend of hers and her family and 2 grandmothers. So the day proceeded relatively uneventfully (unless you count the need to purchase ridiculously overpriced clothing for our daughters because I didn't think to bring extra clothes for them to change into after getting saturated on the water rapids and then having them totally flip out because it turns out that while Hershey Park does IN FACT sell t-shirts, shorts, pajamas, sweatshirts, tank tops, hats, rain ponchos, pants and water shoes; they do NOT sell underwear OF ANY KIND. And since it makes NO SENSE to change into dry clothes but leave on wet underwear, the girls were forced to go commando. And were EXTREMELY stressed out about this small detail. Sam, as some of you already know, has absolutely no problem doing this and frequently returns from potty trips without his underwear. Then again, he has no need to unzip his pants to get them off, and therefore has no need to rezip so it's hasn't become a problem yet).

ANYWAY, so the day was coming to a close, we were headed toward the exit, popping in and out of shops to buy souveneirs and what not when my husband asks,

"Where's Liz?"
"With my Mom."
"Where's your Mom?"
"I don't know. Around here somewhere."

nope.

Chris: "Maybe she's in the Christmas store, she likes Santa stuff."

nope.

Other Grandmother: "Maybe she's in the bathroom."

nope.

Aunt Amy: "Well, she's got to be around here in one of these stores."

nope.

Uncle Matt: "Seriously, she HAS to be here somewhere, it's not like she'd leave the park without telling anyone."

Oh how wrong he is.

Yes, so it turns out my mother took one of my children and LEFT THE PARK to go check out Chocolate World and didn't mention this little detail to anyone before doing so. And when we finally found her (after about an hour of looking) replied, "We were right here, where else would we have gone?"

Gee, I don't know...the ferris wheel, the carousel, the swings, the car, a bathroom, a store, a snack shop, kidnapped by aliens, the dizzy drums, the water park, the bumper cars...

Oh I'm sorry, it seems that my psychic connection is DOWN currently. I must have lost it with my lunch when I puked after riding the AWESOME Comet.

Hershey Park Happy. Hershey Park Glad.