And The Novelty Has Worn Off

Yesterday being the first day of school, the girls bounded out of bed, wiggled quickly into their clothes, scarfed breakfast, and completed the remainder of their morning tasks in record time and with great enthusiasm and amazing compliance.

Then came this morning.

Me: "Good Morning!"
Me: (5 minutes later)"Time to get up."
Me: (5 minutes later) "Girls, it's time to wake up!"
Me: (5 minutes after that) "Wakey, wakey-- time to get ready for school."
Me: (now opening the curtains, flipping on lights and removing covers) "We are going to be late, you need to get out of bed NOW."
Me: (a little angry, but still floating on the "they're going to be gone ALL DAY" high) "Please get out of bed so we don't miss the bus."

No response.

At this point I decide to abandon the verbal requests and simply drag the sleeping child from her bed, down the hall and place her in the shower. She is NOT happy about this and informs me all the while that I'm the "meanest Mommy EVER" and she "just doesn't understand why I'm being SO MEAN to her." I resist the temptation of telling her just exactly how mean I'm capable of being and ask her (in my nicest, calmest Mommy voice) to kindly lean her head back so I can wash her hair.

And I actually quit my job for this. . . . .

Two Down, One To Go. . .

I just put child # 1 and child #2 on the school bus to be whisked away for a day-long adventure of learning (which will begin and end with the learning of curse words and inappropriate hand gestures as taught by the older kids on the school bus . . . *sigh* )
AND
starting after labor day I get to ship child #3 off to preschool for 2 hours twice a week.

The Husband maintains that at this point I will be reduced to nothing more than a blubbering, hormonal mess not unlike Bo Peep when she lost her beloved fluffies--but you know what I say???

I say 63,763,200. What's that you ask?? Well, 63,763,200 is the number of seconds in 1,067,720 minutes which is equal to 17,712 hours which is the equivalent of 738 days WHICH is the exact amount of time I have to wait before I get to place child #3 on the aforementioned school bus and finally get to take a dump BY MYSELF!!!!!!! all alone. no one poking their head in to ask for a snack. no one bringing a step stool in to sit on and "keep me company". no one fighting over handheld video game systems. just me, my People magazine, and the toilet.

Blubbering hormonal mess my ass.

Sam and Beer Part II

On our way to a birthday party for one of Chris's cousins. . . turns out we don't see him very often as he is a radiology tech who works weekend option so he is generally working during family functions. The following is a transcript of the conversation that took place in the car on our way there:

Liz: "Do we know Buddy?"
Me: "Yes, but we don't see him very much, he works on weekends."
Emma: "What does he look like?"
Me: "He's tall, thin, has brown hair. . ."
Liz: "That doesn't help much Mom"
Me: "He came over once to play the Wii with you--his Mii is wearing a blue hat."
Emma: "Does he have a beard?"
Sam: (perking up) "He has a beer??!!" Does he like beer???"
Me: "Ummmm yeah, I think Buddy likes beer."
Sam: "Ohhhhhh, Buddy--I LIKE him!!! He's NICE! He LIKES BEER!!"