DON'T Feed The Seagulls

Grammy took the kids and I to Fenwick Island, DE for our second annual "Grammy Vacation." Loads of fun--great weather, exhausting, but we all had a terrific time.
Sitting on the beach one afternoon, Emma decides to have a snack. So she fishes the cheetos out of the cooler and starts munching. Now up until this point, the only bird we've seen is a little sand piper (at least I think that's what it was) running along the surf eating those little periwinkle shell thingys that wash up with the waves and bury themselves in the wet sand. Cheetos, however, being the "cheese that goes 'crunch,'" are apparently excellent at attracting seagulls, and it wasn't long before a rather large one flew in and landed dangerously close to us.

"Oh, look! A bird!" says Emma.
"DON'T feed the seagulls!" I warn them.
"Why not?" the children all question in unison.

So I go on to explain that one seagull, once fed, will call to all his seagull buddies and become many seagulls in a moments time.
Now, this would be a good time to reiterate that my children not only rarely believe anything I say, but also generally view me as somewhat of an idiot. They never heed my warnings. I see Emma kind of casually holding a cheeto out in her hand and I repeat my previous warning a little more emphatically. Now, my children have seen "Finding Nemo" many times, so I remind them of this scene, hoping in vain that they will remember and believe good old Walt Disney when they won't in fact believe their own mother. No such luck. Emma "accidentally" drops the cheeto which the seagull quickly and happily devours.

"Seeeeee Mommy--nothing bad happened!!"
"Just wait," I say.

Sure enough--a few seconds later a second gull flutters casually down to the sand. Followed by a third, then a fourth. . . . then 10 more.
Emma, I should mention, is afraid of flying birds. We discovered this at the Baltimore Zoo the year they opened their "feed the parakeets" exhibit. (Still bummed we didn't get that day on video) She does fine with birds on the ground or in cages or sitting in trees, but she is terrified of birds flocking and flapping over her head.
So the birds are all swarming and hovering over our heads, flapping and hoping for another handout. Sam is running away crying, Liz is yelling and swatting at the gulls with a sand shovel, and Emma has grabbed the boogie board and is cowering under it shrieking, (at an incredibly shrill, high pitched volume), "THEY'RE GONNA EAT MY HAIR!!!! GET THEM AWAY FROM ME!!!! MOMMIIEEEE HELLLLLPPPPP MEEEEEEEE!!" People are staring, the lifeguards are laughing, and I'm just wishing I had a flask of rum.
So we finally get all the birds shooed away and things are settled back down again, when about an hour later, Liz has gotten the snacks back out and truly does accidentally drop one in the sand. With the speed of a jaguar chasing down a gazelle, Emma streaks across the sand, with her arms covering her head, screaming, "LIZ, BURY IT!!! BURY THE CHEETO BEFORE THE SEAGULLS SEE IT!!!!!!"